There is a thin woman inside of me trying to get out.  I ate her. 

It’s not that I’m fat, it’s that I’m just not tall enough.

Shoes can definitely make your feet look fat.  Shoes can also make your calves look great.

A hat, the a-line skirt, something interesting around the neck, and cleavage can all make you look thinner.

Long hair can make you look thinner, but also older.

If you’ve stuck with me here, let me just say thank you, and I wanted to send a shout out to Harry Burton at Newmarket Press for sending SiBA at $100 donation and a copy of The Dorm Room Diet by Daphne Oz (her dad is Mehmet Oz, M. D., and wrote the foreword) and she signed it to me personally which is quite exciting.  It is targeted at the college age eater but I have finally learned the struggles are the same whether you are 15 or 50.  The difference is that you finally bore yourself to death thinking & talking about it til you finally just have to do something!  So, I have already perused the book, love the format, and will start with Step 6 Get Moving — I am glad to say that I went to the gym this morning and worked out.  First work out since I got back from SiBA. 

So I want to invite publishers to do like Newmarket Press.  Send a check and send a book and I will talk about it on the blog.  Maybe that will simplify things for everyone.  Does carrying around The Terror count as exercise?

 

I have so much to say so I am just going to run a stream of consciousness on you.  Bear with me.  I can’t believe it has been one week since I stood on that scale in that room with those people.  I weighed in at 189 and raised nearly $2000 by simply stepping on a scale.  I think it might have been the scariest thing I have ever done in my entire life.  I thought I was scared the first time I rode a horse, the only time I was caught in a hail storm, the day I had my twins, when I tried to scuba dive, sailing in the Gulf of Mexico, appearing in The Vagina Monologues, but no, stepping on that scale in that hall with those people, was absolutely terrifying.  I’m quite proud of my brave self.

And you will not believe all of the silliness that got me there.  The Sunday before SIBA, the office was packed and everything for SIBA was ready to go, and I just got so anxious about the weigh-in and the blog and the losing weight thing that I obsessed about my own self to the point of distraction.  I want you to know that I planned out every outfit so carefully to insure a smoke and mirrors deception of the highest kind to one day look as thin as I could and another to look less thin - what with black pants, then white pants, or high shoes, or a cowboy hat — I even wore a pair of black high heels all around my house on Sunday in hopes that I would be able to wear them to the weigh in.  I brought them to SiBA, wore them in my hotel room, but could not get out the hotel door in them. 

At the last minute, I roped my daughter into coming with me to do my hair and make up and serve as my trainer and personal assistant.  I also entered her into the Orlando Flip Cup Championship and bet a ton of money on her as the odds were definitely in her favor.  In that was her only failure.  We swam, we went to the gym, we did sit ups & squats in the room and I did a great job watching the food intake and I lost three pounds.  So, for the record, I have lost 16 pounds since July 1 – 11 weeks ago – so I am still on target for my 45 pounds in 45 weeks.

The actual weigh-in.  I did not eat a thing Sunday morning, but I do have to share this — I was at The Book Report booth trying to convince folks to Guess My Weight (As hard as this whole business was for me, I also learned that our culture has made it even harder for someone to feel good about guessing someone’s weight.  I thought people do it at the fair all the time – but maybe that is their age?) Okay, back to Book Report — so I’m standing there and all of a sudden there is a candy in my hand which I am unwrapping and about to pop into my mouth before I realize — hey — this is food!  Food, my friend, is cunning, baffling, powerful. 

Once I realized how uncomfortable some folks were – thank you Eric Svenson – I came up with the idea to ask for donations for SiBA in support of my courage and effort.  This went over great.  Eric Svenson, CRM Books, Michael Levatino, Charles Sobczak, and Bill Verner made donations.  Bill gave me the donation just so I would shut up about it but I appreciate it anyway. 

Now to the moment….I brought my scale from home and Ron Rice had agreed to read the scale at noon in the great hall.  Karin Wilson was my wing woman.  I stood before the scale and Ron got on the microphone and said some wonderful things (I was too distracted to hear so I get him to repeat it all later – my favorite new word is skinnicity as in I am on my way to skinnicity.)  I removed my earrings, my rings, my necklace, all of which I entrusted to Karin Wilson.  I took off my shoes and my only regret is that I failed to blow my nose….And I stepped up on that scale!  Can you imagine?

A shout out to everyone who guessed my weight – Jake Reiss guessed 187 (to SiBA $20) Elisabeth Grant-Gibson guessed 187 (to SiBA $20) the Hachette team guessed 187 (to SiBA $20) Virginia Hicks guessed 187 (to SiBA $20) Nicki Leone guessed 186 (to SiBA $30) Paula Millen guessed 185 (to SiBA $40) Cindy Runnells guessed 183 (to SiBA $60) Ron Rice guessed 182 (to SiBA $70) Harry Gillean guessed 178 (to SiBA $120) Andrea Gillean guessed 175 (to SiBA $140) Joni Goodie guessed 172 (to SiBA $170) Len & Oren of ABA guessed 170 (to SiBA $190) and my most favorite guess was from Alicia Wilson of DC Comics because she guessed 160 – God Bless Her!! (to SiBA $290)  With the guesses and the donations SiBA raised $1648 including the two winners who returned their winnings to SiBA – Debby Stowell and Judy Mathys who both guessed my weight within one pound. Thanks to all of you!!

And I have been eating ever since.  So I am getting back in the saddle tomorrow and will be diligent for one week and will get the numbers to on September 25th.  Until then…

I am loving The Incredible Shrinking Critic  by Jami Bernard from Avery.  I relate to her honest talk about food and weight and working out and the whole enchilada (love food references,  well,  just love food).  Her insight into her own responses and triggers is staggering and we have so much in common.   I will be finishing this book this week as I prep for SIBA and my weigh-in. 

I have pretty exciting news.  I weigh 192 (that is not so exciting) but I have lost a total of 10 inches since July 1! (six inched in my waist, and four inches in my hips)  So I have lost 13 pounds and 10 inches.  This is my last post before the trade show where folks can Guess My Weight at noon on Sunday.  So here I am going to give you all of the help I can to win that cheesecake.

If you guess my weight within 1 pound, you will win a cheesecake.  If not,  you will be billed for $10 per pound.  I weigh 192 today.  I thought about buying a new scale but have decided to bring my scale so that it will be true.  I have 11 days before the weigh in.  At 13 pounds in 54 days that comes to 1/4 pound per day.  If I were to keep everything the same,  I would lose 2.5 lbs by September 10 which would put me at 190.  But it is my goal to break into the 180s by weigh-in time so I plan to step up my exercising between now and then and my only rule for the trade show is I absolutely will not eat any french fries.  So if anyone sees me near a french fry, slap me!

I got my white ABA box the other day and was fascinated by all of the relevant and not so relevant items that were in it.  I think my favorite thing is the Jesus Rode A Donkey bumper sticker which is already on my car.  There was also this very cool Health & Fitness card from Quick Marks which I carry in my pocketbook.  I haven’t yet read the excerpt from Michael Parker’s book but loved the title:  Hidden Meanings, Treatment of Time, Supreme Irony, and Life Experiences in The Song “Ain’t Gonna Bump No More No Big Fat Woman”!  And finally, The Red Book A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach to Igniting Your Divine Spark by Sera Beak.  The book makes me think of apples which is a good thing.  I have not dived in yet but hope to soon.  All for now.

I lost two more pounds!!  YAHOO!!  So I weigh 192 – very close to breaking in on the one eighties — how exciting is that?  So we are at 13 pounds in 7 weeks.  I love when I inspire myself.  Well – this is a short post, I know, but I am working hard on putting together the best show ever and I hope to see everyone there.  Watch for my final pre-show post on August 29th.  All for now…

Got a gentle nudge from Nikki today that I had not posted in ten days.  I guess that is because I don’t have anything to say but then I sat here and reframed that and figured I had plenty to share.  The good news:  I danced today.  I worked out yesterday.  I’m eating anywhere from 1000 – 1800 calories a day.  The SIBA Trade Show is coming together and is going to be great!  We have tried two recipes from The Reality Diet by Steven A. Schnur, M.D. (AVERY).  We had the Halibut with Dijon-Caper Sauce minus the capers and it was really good.  The halibut was $21 which was a shock but the meal was satisfying and tasty.  We also fixed the Fresh Cantaloupe and Prosciutto and that was also wonderful, filling and pleasing to the palate.  I have more energy and I am sleeping better.

The not-so-good news is that I am stuck at the 194 lbs and I am certain that is because I am not doing the level of work outs that I need to do, and I have to ask myself – Self, why is that???  And the only answer I can come up with is this – Wanda Jewell does not think she is worth the thirty minutes a day that it would take to move her body for its own good (somehow I believe myself more when I talk about myself in the third person).   So here is the new tape that I have put in my head as of yesterday.  Wanda Jewell is worth the thirty minutes a day it would take to move her body for its own good.  Not very catchy, is it?  How about move it or lose it?  Or in my case – move it or fail to lose it — Okay, that is catchier — I’m going with that one. 

Numbers update – I have been on my program for 6.5 weeks and I have lost 11 pounds.  My goal is to lose 45 pounds in 45 weeks.  It is 3.5 weeks until the trade show.  So, if you plan to guess my weight to win a free cheescake at the trade show, you’d best start doing your figurin’ now.  I will give a going into the tradeshow round of numbers on Aug. 29th and that will be my last post before the trade show. 

I have a ton going on this week, not to mention the SIBA Trade Show coming up in only 35 days, and it is so weird that the weeks that it would probably be most beneficial not just to my weight loss, but to my overall well being, I simply do not make the time for my work outs.  I mean, even right now, I could be on the floor doing my work out but I make excuses about how I’m too tired or I just don’t feel like it.  And even though I know better, I can tell you right now that I am not going to do that work out tonight.  But I can also tell you that I will work out tomorrow, so ask me if I did, and I will not lie.

The other thing of interest to me right now is my new retail therapy.  I’m reluctant to buy clothes because I am thinking they will not fit in a few weeks if I’m lucky (or if I’m not) so I find myself shopping for healthy snacks.  I found these vegetable chips that are dynamite and great with salsa (that’s how I get my vegetables – that and the new Fusion V8 which I also love.)  I love popcorn and the occasional Peppermint Pattie.  I love peanut butter and grape jelly in my oatmeal, and my Genisoy bars. 

I also got a great gift and note from Janice Taylor, author of Our Lady of Weight Loss.  I have really been struggling with her Kick #2 and that is to visualize yourself as you want to look.  I have worked so hard to learn to love this body that I am in that I find it really hard to see myself any other way so I am working the Creative Visualization and trying to see myself as the woman on Bravo’s Work Out.

Wish me well!  Eat smart and I hope to see you at SIBA for my Wanda Weighs In & Guess My Weight moment.

This is a rule running through everything I read about wellness.  I just finished my 250 calorie yogurt and oatmeal breakfast and it was yummy.  I have lost another 3 pounds.  So…here we are…the numbers please…I weigh 194 pounds.  I have l lost 11 pounds in 4 weeks so I am exceeding my target of 45 pounds in 45 weeks but I don’t expect that to continue.  My BMI (Body Mass Index, which I like to think of as Bowel Movement Itinerary) is 32.  Last numbers report I claimed to be out of the O_ _ _ e range, but my math was wrong so I am still there and still hating that work.  I need for that number to get under 30 but I am down from 33 to 32.  And my waist to hip ration improved because I lost 3 inches in my waist but maintained that 49 inch ass.  That makes my ass over four feet tall if it could stand up.  That is just stunning and certainly motivates me to keep on keeping on.

A shout out to my FAT SO? for SIBA Supporters.  I send an ongoing tremendous amount of gratitude to Penguin.  I am still reading their three books and will get back to you about them soon.  SIBA received $80 and a nice letter of support to me from Karin Gillespie, author of Dollar Daze, A Dollar Short and Bet Your Bottom Dollar (which is kind of what I am doing).  I will be reading Dollar Daze.  Much gratitude goes out to Donna & Mark Paz of Paz & Associates.  They have come on board as SIBA FAT SO? Supporters and have sent me a copy of Full & Fullfilled The Science of Eating to Your Soul’s Satisfaction by Nan Allison & Carol Beck.  I will be getting back to you about that as well.

I’m also planning to post a list of the books that have changed my life, and I have to tell you that the first book that started to work on me was one I read many years ago and still re-read.  That book is The Women’s Room by Marilyn French. 

All for now from Wanda

 

Much like the cowardly lion, I began my venture into the three books sent my way by Beloved Fat So? for SIBA supporter Penguin Books.  And I have to say, after the first chapter into each book, I felt motivated, excited and vidicated.

First was Our Lady of Weight Loss by Janice Taylor.  What a great cover and design this book has – so inviting and I can’t wait to do some of the projects in it.  This author is an artisit who decided to make weight loss an art project and the results: cool-coolio.  And early in the book comes The Ten Commandments of Permanent Fat Removal and I was delighted that I am observing every one of them.  Needless to say, I was quite proud.  This is a fun way to look at weight loss and the first recipe is yummy – Double Banana Crunch – and the instructions are – Mix together all ingredients in a small bowl and enjoy!  Now that is my kind of cookin’.

The Incredible shrinking Critic by Jami Bernard is wonderful because she did what I am doing except her progress ran in a newspaper each week and I can’t tell you how much I feel like she is talking about me as she talks about herself.  Directly from the book – “each pound must be untangled from a fusion of benign neglect and self-destructive habit.  Utlimate self-improvement is about changing yourself, not just losing weight.”  You go, girl.  Jami Bernard and her book are inspiring just to start.

The Reality Diet by Steven Schnur, MD is a much thicker, comprehensive look at food and science and body.  In the first chapter, he examines thoroughly why each diet works and why it may or may not be good for you.  His bottom line is my bottom line (though I’m sure his bottom does not look like my bottom), You have to burn more calories than you consume.  There is no magic or secret.  Every human has to eat and move to gain weight, lose weight, or maintain weight. 

My only real conflict that came out of these books is the issue of peanut butter.  I love peanut butter and it is one of the 12 power foods in the Abs Diet so here is what I think – the good peanut butter has to be the natural peanut butter that you have to stir before you spread.  I have been diligent this week.  I have written down every bite that I have put in my mouth and have worked out every day.  Tomorrow I am painting my bedroom and bathroom and will call that a work-out.  Monday I will weigh and measure and report my progess.  45 pounds in 45 weeks is my goal.  Thanks for cheering me on.

I’m so excited.  Note that you have not heard from me in awhile and I weighed this week and did not lose one pound.  Still at 197 and I thought, plateau, schmateau…I’m just going to wait til next Monday to post when I know I will have some news.  But today I am excited to announce that I have 3 new books from Penguin to peruse and use and I will be letting you know all about them.  The books are the Incredible shrinking Critic 75 Pounds and Counting:  My Excellent Adventure in Weight-Loss by Jami Bernard (Avery); Fight Fat With Fiber the Reality Diet:  Lose the pounds for Good with a Cardiologist’s Simple, Healthy, Proven Plan by Steven A. Schnur, M.D. (Avery), and Our Lady of Weight Loss Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal by Janice Taylor (Viking Studio).  I will be looking through all of them tonight and will get back to you with some of my favorite moments with these titles.  And again, a huge THANK YOU to Penguin for supporting both SIBA and my efforts in this endeavor.

It was great to get a phone call from Kim Meisnet from Penguin Group today saying that they were going to be Fat SO? Supporters!!  And they are the first.  I also want to give a shout out to Kate Landishaw of Katybooks for sending me $10.  I have also heard from Malaprops and the Great Lakes Booksellers Association that they are going to participate on some level as well.  So I look forward to getting the books and trying them out and letting all of you know how it’s going.  But since Kim seemed to get it, I thought I’d just review with everyone how I came to this. 

Because, trust me, it is nothing I EVER thought I would do but I realize there has been some synchroncity at work and not all of it has to do directly with dieting.  I read George Lakoff’s Don’t Think of an Elephant and started to think about exactly what were my values and how could I frame them.  At the same time, I read Gary Mex Glazner’s How to Make A Living As a Poet and know that I am not a poet, but Gary & George combined to cause me to carefully begin to consider how I wanted to leave the world.  And that is better than I found it.  PS – Gary Glazner just confirmed for the SIBA Trade Show and he is not to be missed.  Don’t want to get to profound on you — we will get around to some fat soon.  Then I read this novel by John Twelve Hawks – The Traveler, and was faced with the whole notion of living on and/or off a grid.  My husband and I tend to read aloud to each other every morning, something we each pick, and want to share and the last two books we read were Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now  and YOU The Owner’s Manual  by Roizen and Oz and then I found myself dissatisfied with my contribution and one reason my contribution wasn’t what it could be was because I did not have the energy and fitness to do all of things I want to do.  And so then came A Perfect Mess by Abrahamson & Freedman and The Abs Diet by David Zinczenko and all of a sudden it all flashed – that I can do this — I can run my own life — what a concept.

 Now to the fun stuff — as I said before, I love the Genisoy bars – particularly the Yogurt Peanut and the Southern Crunchy Choclate Peanut Butter.  And I love the Fat Free No Pudge Fudge Brownie Mix.  You just add yogurt and the coolest thing of all is that it gives directions to make just one serving and I must say it is quite a generous serving for only 120 calories.  I also love the Abs Diet Power 12 foods and it took me forever to realize that the 12 foods spelled at Abs Diet Power – like this:

Almonds
Beans
Spinach

Dairy
Instant Oatmeal (I mix a little peanut butter & jelly in mine….)
Eggs
Turkey

Peanut Butter
Olive Oil
Whole-Grains
Extra Protein Whey Powder
Raspberries

Realizing this has made them much easier to remember.  I can’t wait to get Penguin’s book and tell you all about it.  I will be emailing my weight in the next post.  YIKES!